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the daily taryn season 3: episode 12
We’ve been watching a lot of Queer Eye lately. We basically tore through the whole thing (except for one episode that Cam has to watch without me because it started with some spooky medical story that I know better than to watch). Season 5 coming out last week seemed purposeful — releasing new episodes of 5 perfect gay men running around a city helping people right when the world needed a little hope and joy and happy tears instead of sad ones.
I cried a lot of happy tears last night. It was an episode about a mom who was struggling to spin all the plates at once. She was a new doctor and mom and wife and was having the hardest time doing it all, especially when it came to bonding with her little girl. Looking to empathize, Karamo shared a story of his mom that will stay with me forever. His mom worked late hours to provide for him and their family and would get home most nights just past midnight. Instead of going to sleep, she would sneak into Karamo’s room, wake him up in the middle of the night, and play with him for 10 minutes.
That picture. Of Karamo’s sleepy mom after a full days work. Of Karamo’s sleepy self after being dead asleep. Of the two of them, so happily sat on the floor with the sun down and moon up, playing together. Laughing and smiling and rolling a train around the ground.
Those 10 minutes a day will stay with him forever. Just 10 minutes. And that short story will stay with me forever, too.
surprise stretches time
How can something so short feel so special and memorable and magical and long? It reminds me of something I learned from a neuroscientist in the book, “The Power of Moments” — that surprise stretches time. When you add the element of surprise into a moment or experience, studies show that people consistently report that the event felt 30%+ longer than it really was.
It's true. I drove to my parents house this morning to hang with them for the day. I’ve been overwhelmed and knew that nothing would make me feel better than seeing my parents. I brought Riggy, picked up a coffee on the way, and drove for a very short 45 minutes from LA to Orange County.
My parents always want me to tell them when I’m close, so I texted them when I was 5 minutes away. I drove up the very comfy, very familiar street that I grew up on, got to the top of the hill, and boom. There were my parents, both of them, standing in the driveway smiling and waving as cute as can be.
They didn’t need to do that. I’m 29. Basically 30. Basically 50. And they both have other things to be doing. They both have calls and emails and errands and all the things parents have to do all the time. But they said, “Hey. What can we do to make our daughter feel special?” I don’t know how long they stood out there before I pulled up — could’ve been literally 5 seconds or 5 minutes — but they got up and did it and goofily waved and smiled and came to help me with Riggs and stuff. It was so special.
I was so surprised by such a little thing that even the drive up the driveway felt like 20 minutes. Yes, we have a longish drive-way, but it was definitely only about a 10 second experience. And it meant something to me. It mattered. It was so simple, but I felt so loved and will never, ever forget it.
You don’t need to spend a lot of time to make the time well spent. If you’re going to read a book for 5 minutes, really read it. If you’re going to call a friend, don’t do it while you’re doing chores or running errands — be as present and there as possible, or facetime them instead of call them.
Make little moments big, just by being there. Really, really there. I promise it matters. I promise it lasts.
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